I donated like, a liter (exaggeration) of blood for testing, granted the misfortune that haunted my every step earlier this year, and the lab ran a complete metabolic panel, a thyroid panel, a CBC, an iron level, HCG levels, and progesterone levels. Got the basic results back by phone today and:
TOTALLY NORMAL.
Booyah.
Actually, HCG + Progesterone running a little high, which is great.
Vitamin B running low at the time of testing, which is no big deal because I was put on vitamin B supplements about 2 days beforehand. I’m sure the levels are great now.
Huge weight off my mind. I’ll still feel more relieved in 3 and a half more weeks, when my 30% chance o’ miscarriage drops to like, 5%.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Dreams
Growing up with my mom’s horror stories of the dreams she had when she was pregnant with me, or my little sister predisposed me to expect nightmares about bugs. This has not been the case, in any of my three pregnancies.
This is the first time that I’ve gotten so far along (8w1d!) and the dreams are starting to turn weird.
Earlier, my dreams were vivid but weird. I had a dreams about Papa-to-be and his frat brothers going to jail on a bus (to protect petey. The only Petey we know in real life is a penguin pillow pet.) which I only found out because his Escalade (we don’t own an Escalade) had the lights on and when I went out to turn the lights off, it told me that dear Papa had left his wallet and cell phone in the car. (in digital display, on the center console.) So naturally, I jumped on a centaur and rode through the town naked to find him. And thought to check a prison bus.
Then my subconscious got cruel, but realistic. The night before a fasting blood test that was all the way at 10 am, I dreamed of nothing but eating chocolate covered strawberries. Luxurious, perfectly sweet strawberries in the best chocolate I’ve ever tasted. Most amazing food I’ve ever tasted.
Of course, then I woke up and couldn’t eat for four hours.
And the chocolate covered strawberries I made later that night weren’t as good as my dream strawberries. How mean is that?
Last night was the first nightmare. I had a perfectly realistic dream that I got up and went to the bathroom (which I do a lot these days.) But in the bathroom, I started miscarrying again, with so much blood, so much red blood.
I woke up crying and had to talk myself into the reality of the situation, that I was lying in bed, that I hadn’t gotten up, and then I had to go check just to be sure. What an awful dream.
This is the first time that I’ve gotten so far along (8w1d!) and the dreams are starting to turn weird.
Earlier, my dreams were vivid but weird. I had a dreams about Papa-to-be and his frat brothers going to jail on a bus (to protect petey. The only Petey we know in real life is a penguin pillow pet.) which I only found out because his Escalade (we don’t own an Escalade) had the lights on and when I went out to turn the lights off, it told me that dear Papa had left his wallet and cell phone in the car. (in digital display, on the center console.) So naturally, I jumped on a centaur and rode through the town naked to find him. And thought to check a prison bus.
Then my subconscious got cruel, but realistic. The night before a fasting blood test that was all the way at 10 am, I dreamed of nothing but eating chocolate covered strawberries. Luxurious, perfectly sweet strawberries in the best chocolate I’ve ever tasted. Most amazing food I’ve ever tasted.
Of course, then I woke up and couldn’t eat for four hours.
And the chocolate covered strawberries I made later that night weren’t as good as my dream strawberries. How mean is that?
Last night was the first nightmare. I had a perfectly realistic dream that I got up and went to the bathroom (which I do a lot these days.) But in the bathroom, I started miscarrying again, with so much blood, so much red blood.
I woke up crying and had to talk myself into the reality of the situation, that I was lying in bed, that I hadn’t gotten up, and then I had to go check just to be sure. What an awful dream.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
internet images
*Actual baby may vary.
I stole this off of the all wonderful google, to celebrate our first meeting with a midwife!
I strongly believe that a woman’s body is built to withstand the process of birth- and that if women couldn’t handle birth naturally, then our entire species would have gone extinct thousands of years ago.
Papa-to-be and I went down to the Portland waterbirth center, Andaluz, which has a staff of 8 professional, licensed midwives and 5 beautiful rooms with huge tubs, gorgeous showers, beautiful beds, and the same strong belief that birth can be non-traumatic, lovely, and natural. They operate on an informed consent basis, which is nice- especially since most people have no idea that they’ve consented to screening/ procedures until those things show up in a medical history. This means I don’t have to agree to a hepB vaccine at birth (which, you know, isn’t great for baby during its first day of life) or antibacterial eye drops (since I don’t have chlamydia) or even to having my baby leave the room that I’m in for the first little bit of it’s tiny adorable life.
What’s new at 8 weeks?
Well, I was a size 6 a couple weeks ago, but now I’m wearing my size 10’s that I (thank the good lord) hadn’t donated yet. I’ve also re-graduated into bras that I’d lost weight out of, and might need new ones soon.
Eating is still a challenge, and I’ve basically been a vegetarian for the last week, which is an interesting experience for a dedicated carnivore. Tempeh is so weird. I can’t tell if I like it or hate it- but I can tell that it stays in my tummy!
(and really, at this point, that’s all that counts.)
Big fan of the Apple Cider Vinegar- having a sip before a meal decreases my chances of throwing up that meal by about a third- and it’s such a simple remedy!
I love naturopathic medicine.
Also coming in at 8 weeks- 3 wonderful years of marriage to my favorite nurse!
The man of the house has been so wonderful- taking care of all of the smelly stuff so that I don’t have to, making iced ginger tea, giving me backrubs, intense tournaments of Jenga, and incredibly sweet goofy grins every time that guy looks at me. <3
Thursday all of my bloodwork comes in, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now.
Monday, August 8, 2011
NPR, Baby!
Well, baby-
According to this article, you’re going to like peas, hummus, pesto and cream cheese on potato bread, ginger tea, graham crackers, and mango sorbet.
Someday, when I don’t throw up almost every meal I eat, I will introduce you to a world of delicious and exotic flavors!
According to this article, you’re going to like peas, hummus, pesto and cream cheese on potato bread, ginger tea, graham crackers, and mango sorbet.
Someday, when I don’t throw up almost every meal I eat, I will introduce you to a world of delicious and exotic flavors!
future decisions.
One of my friends just finished doula training!
For those of you not in the know, a doula is a person who attends birth and the post-partum period as a non-medical support person. This is the person who remembers that you didn't want an episiotomy after you've been in labor for several hours and can only focus on the process, and the person who takes responsibility for making sure that you've heard and understood what's going on. An advocate for the mother during the series of events that make up bringing a new person into the world. Someone who may use massage, positive reinforcement, encouragement, nurturing, (pretty much all the stuff that wikipedia says that they do) to support the little family.
For her, it's also an important first step to becoming a midwife.
I've thought long and hard about becoming an N.D. midwife for a few years now.
The program doesn't take anyone until after they've completed basic birth classes, and then- once admitted to the birth program, more classes are taken and a number of births are attended, both in an observation role or as actively participating in the birth, with a number of births being delivered by the student before the (additional) boards are taken and the student becomes a full fledged midwife.
It also usually takes a full extra year, on top of the 4 year ND program.
Then, for the rest of the obstetric life of the ND in a rural area, you can't travel. You're always on call. It's hard to be covered by malpractice insurance, because the state doesn't recognize obstetrics as part of the scope of practice for an ND.
Especially in some of the areas that I'm looking at, it'd be me or a hospital birth, which is a lot, a lot, a lot of pressure.
(By the way, did you know that the United States only has one single hospital that lives up to European standard of care for maternity? It's in Grant's Pass. No wonder our neonate mortality rate is so much higher than say...Germany, France, Singapore, Switzerland, or the other 20 countries that rank above us.Yet we spend more money on health care...)
So I'm on the fence. Would it be easier to choose, if I was already on the 5 year track? If malpractice insurance wasn't so hard to obtain? If I knew that classmates were considering the same area, so that we could trade on-call months? If babies only happened between 9am and 5 pm? If our hospital system wasn't so far behind on ethical and reasonable birthing practices? (Did you know that the average hospital's induction rate spikes on Friday (so doctors can go home for the weekend) and that the average hospital has a cesarian rate of 30%, compared to a midwifery center's 3%? And that unnecessary surgery really ups the neonate and maternal mortality rate?)
The life of a midwife is a hard life. But deferring that responsibility is also hard.
True to form, I'll put off the decision until I have more experience/until I really have to make a decision after the basic birth series.
For those of you not in the know, a doula is a person who attends birth and the post-partum period as a non-medical support person. This is the person who remembers that you didn't want an episiotomy after you've been in labor for several hours and can only focus on the process, and the person who takes responsibility for making sure that you've heard and understood what's going on. An advocate for the mother during the series of events that make up bringing a new person into the world. Someone who may use massage, positive reinforcement, encouragement, nurturing, (pretty much all the stuff that wikipedia says that they do) to support the little family.
For her, it's also an important first step to becoming a midwife.
I've thought long and hard about becoming an N.D. midwife for a few years now.
The program doesn't take anyone until after they've completed basic birth classes, and then- once admitted to the birth program, more classes are taken and a number of births are attended, both in an observation role or as actively participating in the birth, with a number of births being delivered by the student before the (additional) boards are taken and the student becomes a full fledged midwife.
It also usually takes a full extra year, on top of the 4 year ND program.
Then, for the rest of the obstetric life of the ND in a rural area, you can't travel. You're always on call. It's hard to be covered by malpractice insurance, because the state doesn't recognize obstetrics as part of the scope of practice for an ND.
Especially in some of the areas that I'm looking at, it'd be me or a hospital birth, which is a lot, a lot, a lot of pressure.
(By the way, did you know that the United States only has one single hospital that lives up to European standard of care for maternity? It's in Grant's Pass. No wonder our neonate mortality rate is so much higher than say...Germany, France, Singapore, Switzerland, or the other 20 countries that rank above us.Yet we spend more money on health care...)
So I'm on the fence. Would it be easier to choose, if I was already on the 5 year track? If malpractice insurance wasn't so hard to obtain? If I knew that classmates were considering the same area, so that we could trade on-call months? If babies only happened between 9am and 5 pm? If our hospital system wasn't so far behind on ethical and reasonable birthing practices? (Did you know that the average hospital's induction rate spikes on Friday (so doctors can go home for the weekend) and that the average hospital has a cesarian rate of 30%, compared to a midwifery center's 3%? And that unnecessary surgery really ups the neonate and maternal mortality rate?)
The life of a midwife is a hard life. But deferring that responsibility is also hard.
True to form, I'll put off the decision until I have more experience/until I really have to make a decision after the basic birth series.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
7 weeks
Hello, darling.
You are now in the range of 7 weeks, gestationally, and boy, are you making life interesting.
For instance, you only let me eat: plain yogurt with honey. graham crackers. mashed potatoes. and potato bread with pesto and cream cheese. This is not the diet I would like to be feeding you, as it is a little lacking in the vitamin and protein department.
Also, no water? Really? Why?
Tea is good, and so is soymilk, but I miss water. It’s August, baby! I need to drink water so that I have enough blood volume for you.
Your papa and I finally figured out when you were conceived- I was very surprised by how big you were on the ultrasound! I was guessing 4 and a half weeks ago, but no- you were that one time right before I went up to Washington to attend a friends wedding. And- just so you know- it was not clear that there was any sort of ovulation at the time. Seriously.
We’re very excited, though, and looking forward to meeting you next year. We have appointments set up with primary care, and with the water birth center where we can meet a midwife that can hopefully help us through your whole term, all in this next week. Then we’ll go to Germany!
We love you, baby descant.
Stay safe.
Under the Weather
I can't tell if being under the weather makes more sense during summer, as though I am not rising to the occasion of the weather, or if it makes less sense.
However, should I not be rising to the occasion, I believe that I would still be under the weather even if it was a fogged in, hailing, raining day interspersed with lightning.
Last Saturday at the clinic, with my mind in a much healthier place than it had been in months previous, I detailed my banged up knee, my out of adjustment cervical, thorasic, and lumbar vertebre, as well as my out of place ribs, and crooked pelvis and a myriad of other health concerns that were pretty much purely physical.
I think this is just going to be a year for complicated health, as this week has proven. I'm glad I have a wonderful health team, because as my new primary exclaimed last Saturday "You don't do anything by halves! Poor thing, you're falling apart!"
I've been advised to not frolic in a river with a banged up knee and a wretched sunburn on 90% of my body, which I think is pretty sound advice. Next year we're definitely packing sunscreen. And I will try to not repeatedly fall down a rock slide merely because I am afraid to let go of my floaty whale. I will let go of the floaty whale and allow someone else to swim downriver to fetch it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, in other health quarters, my yoga teacher/primary care physician has been trying to teach me the art of slowing down. While meditation has become routine (and I'm pretty sure I've worn some prayer beads out this week!) and my inner calm is a little bit more directable, I still prefer a flurry of action to the stillness of staying in one place.
Yesterday, rather than the 20something poses that we normally flow with, I was directed instead to stay in 5 positions over the hour and fifteen minute session.
It was so much harder!
My mind quickly got bored. The poses were harder to maintain in an active form over lengthy periods of time, especially since the other two people who came to class were doing the normal routine. I could feel the good they were doing, but rather than focusing on the breath, maintaining the inner line, the words of a mantra, I was split into halfheartedly maintaining my form, jealously overhearing a regular routine, planning out what I would say for scheduled events days in the future and going over test results in my head.
Clearly, I need to be still. This is a practice I lack, and would like to become good at.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Best health news- the afternoon nap has made a resurgence in my daily routine. I'm quite pleased with this, as I've never really understood why economics and business should take precedence over a good couple hour nap just after lunch. No one really wants to do anything after lunch anyways, and don't lie- you know you don't.
Summer afternoon naps <3
However, should I not be rising to the occasion, I believe that I would still be under the weather even if it was a fogged in, hailing, raining day interspersed with lightning.
Last Saturday at the clinic, with my mind in a much healthier place than it had been in months previous, I detailed my banged up knee, my out of adjustment cervical, thorasic, and lumbar vertebre, as well as my out of place ribs, and crooked pelvis and a myriad of other health concerns that were pretty much purely physical.
I think this is just going to be a year for complicated health, as this week has proven. I'm glad I have a wonderful health team, because as my new primary exclaimed last Saturday "You don't do anything by halves! Poor thing, you're falling apart!"
I've been advised to not frolic in a river with a banged up knee and a wretched sunburn on 90% of my body, which I think is pretty sound advice. Next year we're definitely packing sunscreen. And I will try to not repeatedly fall down a rock slide merely because I am afraid to let go of my floaty whale. I will let go of the floaty whale and allow someone else to swim downriver to fetch it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, in other health quarters, my yoga teacher/primary care physician has been trying to teach me the art of slowing down. While meditation has become routine (and I'm pretty sure I've worn some prayer beads out this week!) and my inner calm is a little bit more directable, I still prefer a flurry of action to the stillness of staying in one place.
Yesterday, rather than the 20something poses that we normally flow with, I was directed instead to stay in 5 positions over the hour and fifteen minute session.
It was so much harder!
My mind quickly got bored. The poses were harder to maintain in an active form over lengthy periods of time, especially since the other two people who came to class were doing the normal routine. I could feel the good they were doing, but rather than focusing on the breath, maintaining the inner line, the words of a mantra, I was split into halfheartedly maintaining my form, jealously overhearing a regular routine, planning out what I would say for scheduled events days in the future and going over test results in my head.
Clearly, I need to be still. This is a practice I lack, and would like to become good at.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Best health news- the afternoon nap has made a resurgence in my daily routine. I'm quite pleased with this, as I've never really understood why economics and business should take precedence over a good couple hour nap just after lunch. No one really wants to do anything after lunch anyways, and don't lie- you know you don't.
Summer afternoon naps <3
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