isn't it strange, how we sort out who we can touch and who we can't?
I like the grace of contact, not only because I remember it better, but because it is a stabilizer for my system. I have endolymphatic hydropsy, which are two very long words standing in for "the lack of a natural center of balance". I used to fall down a lot. Still do, if I'm tired or not paying attention.
Before the therapy that helped me stand, I mostly held on to things. People, walls- anything that was likely to remain in a vertical orientation. I was the girl walking with a stick through the chain link fence, clinging to someone's elbow.
I don't really have personal space issues, either. I love everyone, more or less, and my love is always physical. I'm glad my husband isn't a jealous man, because my every day is spent holding someone's hand, sitting on someone's lap, playing with someone's hair. My best friends in high school didn't have space issues either. One of my favorite memories is the feeling of the seven of us, falling asleep in a tangled pile in the basement. I thrive on contact.
One of the things I hated most about St. Martin's was how strange hugs became. These washingtonians are a strange and mostly cold lot. I adapted here, offering the handshake instead of the hug, a compliment instead of a kiss. And now, my final year, it seems to have started again. Or maybe I just started hanging out with the right people. Or maybe they don't have the heart to tell me to go away. Whatever it is, I'm glad of it.
But still, there are people I can't touch. Or people I can touch, but only when no one else can see. Or people I'd love to touch, but know would get the wrong impression of the touch and become creepers. People that I touch despite their suddenly tense muscles and indirect eyes.
Why the distinctions?
Our society has destroyed interpersonal contact for the sake of economy and individualism. We've demonized sharing, and the church has placed so many taboos on pleasure that we all live terrified little lives, unable to reach out to one another because of the weight of social concepts.
Maybe we should all just lighten up.
Hmm interesting. I think I might be one of those cold Washingtonians :) Over the years I've opened up a lot with regards to physical contact--but you're right, that darned evangelical upbringing gave me a giant stigma against hugs and other personal contact. I've started to get over it with hugs lately but sometimes it still takes some effort. And apparently I've shocked my mother because I hug my male friends! Heavens!
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