To my right, I see someone terrified of rain, driving ten miles below the speed limit. To my left, a concrete barrier. Directly in front of me, the self righteous asshole who's been consistently speeding when I'm in the right hand lane and brake checking me when in the left lane. A hundred feet ahead, yet another sign that says "Slower traffic, Keep Right".
Now, I'm not sure if these aforementioned self righteous assholes are actually self righteous assholes. There's a lot of options. They could be opposed to reading, and therefore never understand the signs all over the road indicating that they should probably get into the right hand lane. They could just be deliberate assholes, picking a car at random to piss off. Or they could be the self righteous assholes, deciding that they have the authority and the right to control my behavior.
I enjoy my right to the pursuit of happiness. For me, that means competing with myself to break my times home. But then Self Righteous Assholes (hereafter abbreviated as SFA) decide that they both a) have a right to judge me for the way that I pursue happiness and b) have the right to discontinue my pursuit. I don't quite remember exactly where the right to oppress your fellow drivers is in the constitution is, but whatever.
My goal is simple. I want to get home as fast as possible. If I get a ticket, that's alright. It's my paycheck and my car. SFA are dangerous to me and to others on the road. They encourage unsafe passing procedures, like blowing-your-gosh-dang-doors-off-on-the-right when the originally happy drivers become irritated at the cat and mouse game of SFA containment patterns. SFA's also trigger road rage, and suffer from preoccupation concerning where that (previously happy) car is that often leads them to wander over the lane lines.
Just move over. You have no right or authority to blockade my speed.
No comments:
Post a Comment